You know those times when the Lord keeps hitting on a specific theme, or in cases like this just one specific passage of scripture? Isn't that sweet? The first time I remember feeling the weight of this verse was just a couple of years ago while I was reading a book about single life as a Christian (I honestly can't even remember which book it was). The author quoted 1 Corinthians 7:17 "Only let each person lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him." I remember the lightbulb moment of realizing, "Oh! Scripture says it that plainly and clearly!" That is a great nugget verse for me in the battle for contentment. I love the thoroughness of scripture - that God just covers every topic clearly and perfectly. This enlightenment came at a time where I still was very prone to covetting mothers who get to be home with their children and even get to home school them. That's a desire I've had probably as long as I've been a mother, but God has had other very good plans which I would be missing out on. His wisdom is so far beyond mine and is absolutely perfect!
I've been reading "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper which has a chapter entitled: Remaining With God, addressing many people's call to bring glory to God and share the gospel in a secular work setting. The title of the chapter is drawn from the concluding verse of the passage which starts with 1Cor. 7:17. Verse 24 says, "So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God. Well guess what - God called me as a single mother - and he has seen fit to keep me there. Right now that necessitates that I work to provide for my family and that brings glory to God. It means that I must find him alone sufficient for every need and want and I am never disappointed! But how helpful it is to look at scripture and be certain that God is sovereign and good and that he has perfectly designed this for his glory. This is the life he has generously and graciously assigned to me. And how sweet it is compared to the "life" I would have if he had not turned me from my sin! Knowing that gives me much peace and joy in the day to day. And he does give me ample opportunity to speak about him with coworkers which I would not have if I were not blessed with this calling! And it blows my mind when I look back over these years and see a trail of lives affected by the gospel and saved from hell! because of how he uses weak vessels!
Another thing which really struck me in this book was the challenge to deny myself more for the direct benefit of others. While there are countless ways to do this, there was one that the Lord kept bringing to mind and giving me a real longing to pursue. It has a financial commitment involved and this is a season where the budget is changing dramatically already. So after seeking God's direction for where I could cut back on spending for myself so I might be able to sow toward others I began to see that internet and phone are really a luxury right now. This opportunity is so much more important and will, Lord willing, one day have an eternal impact. So this means no more posting, but sadder than that is not being able to keep up with friends' blogs. I'll try to find time on lunch breaks to peek in on my girls and see how each of you are doing. Thank you for all of the sweet and encouraging thoughts you've left for me here. You are dear sisters and I thank God for you!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
A Misty Morning
We had a mildly foggy morning recently , the kind where if you look at a dark background you can actually see the water droplets swirling up around you. So I went out web-shooting. It's a little creepy to consider how very many spiders are all around us but we just don't see most of them. I like seeing their webs in the dew though. One of those displays of God's glory my Mom taught me to appreciate.
Our pretty Tiger Liles at the back of the yard
I had to run to Walmart for a few things this morning. I often feel silly having Xavier use my girly smelling soap, though he never complains. So I offered to get him some manly soap. He was very excited! He sniffed each package until we found a winner. As I added it to the basket he asked, "Can I get some deodorant too?" The clerk in the aisle laughed at him and reminded me how very quickly these years are passing.
When we got home he helped put things away and was eager to open a bar of "his soap". To his amusement the bar actually says, "Dial for Men" on it :-) I told him to look manly so I could take a picture of him with his manly soap. In the first shot he must have been distracted by those big biceps. Doesn't he look macho... in front of the flowery shower curtain? ;-)
While praying before lunch Xavier said, "... and thank you Lord that they stopped killing the flock..." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but the rest of the prayer was pretty sound so I had to ask what he was thinking of here. He clarified that it was in reference to making animal sacrifices. He concluded that "no one must have enjoyed that - except David because he sure sacrificed a lot." He didn't hesitate when I asked him why we don't need to sacrifice animals anymore. Thank you Jesus for becoming the only sacrifice we'll ever need!!!! It was a neat opportunity to recount all the ways scripture points to the saving death of Christ from the beginning of creation. The Lord is really working in Xavier's heart to trust and love him. Any time Xavier prays, no matter what the initial point is, he always thanks Jesus for paying for our sins on the cross. That is so precious and encouraging to my heart! Thank you God for the mercy you pour on our family!
While he was finishing lunch I was reading from our dessert book "A Gospel Primer for Christians" by Milton Vincent. I found this quote so refreshing. The Lord has been focusing my attention on how I have nothing to boast in but Jesus Christ and his willingness to save me. So as I finish going through Romans, and C.B.'s wrapping up Galatians, and I'm relfecting on notes from this series which explain that the gospel is freedom from self not freedom to self (oh that is what I need! Thank you Lord!) I get to read this:
"God deliberately designed the gospel in such a way so as to strip me of pride and leave me without any grounds for boasting in myself whatsoever... Pride wilts in the atmosphere of the gospel... Conversely, humility grows lushly in the atmosphere of the gospel... such humility intensifies my passion for God and causes my heart increasingly to thrill whenever he is praised."
"My soul makes its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear it and rejoice." Psalm 34:2
Oh I want and need more of this - what wonderful news that Jesus had done all that is necessary for me to obtain it!
Our pretty Tiger Liles at the back of the yard
I had to run to Walmart for a few things this morning. I often feel silly having Xavier use my girly smelling soap, though he never complains. So I offered to get him some manly soap. He was very excited! He sniffed each package until we found a winner. As I added it to the basket he asked, "Can I get some deodorant too?" The clerk in the aisle laughed at him and reminded me how very quickly these years are passing.
When we got home he helped put things away and was eager to open a bar of "his soap". To his amusement the bar actually says, "Dial for Men" on it :-) I told him to look manly so I could take a picture of him with his manly soap. In the first shot he must have been distracted by those big biceps. Doesn't he look macho... in front of the flowery shower curtain? ;-)
While praying before lunch Xavier said, "... and thank you Lord that they stopped killing the flock..." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but the rest of the prayer was pretty sound so I had to ask what he was thinking of here. He clarified that it was in reference to making animal sacrifices. He concluded that "no one must have enjoyed that - except David because he sure sacrificed a lot." He didn't hesitate when I asked him why we don't need to sacrifice animals anymore. Thank you Jesus for becoming the only sacrifice we'll ever need!!!! It was a neat opportunity to recount all the ways scripture points to the saving death of Christ from the beginning of creation. The Lord is really working in Xavier's heart to trust and love him. Any time Xavier prays, no matter what the initial point is, he always thanks Jesus for paying for our sins on the cross. That is so precious and encouraging to my heart! Thank you God for the mercy you pour on our family!
While he was finishing lunch I was reading from our dessert book "A Gospel Primer for Christians" by Milton Vincent. I found this quote so refreshing. The Lord has been focusing my attention on how I have nothing to boast in but Jesus Christ and his willingness to save me. So as I finish going through Romans, and C.B.'s wrapping up Galatians, and I'm relfecting on notes from this series which explain that the gospel is freedom from self not freedom to self (oh that is what I need! Thank you Lord!) I get to read this:
"God deliberately designed the gospel in such a way so as to strip me of pride and leave me without any grounds for boasting in myself whatsoever... Pride wilts in the atmosphere of the gospel... Conversely, humility grows lushly in the atmosphere of the gospel... such humility intensifies my passion for God and causes my heart increasingly to thrill whenever he is praised."
"My soul makes its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear it and rejoice." Psalm 34:2
Oh I want and need more of this - what wonderful news that Jesus had done all that is necessary for me to obtain it!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
A New Look and a New CD
Lots of people have heard about the strange allergic reaction I had around my eyes a month ago. Under an allergists care I was being treated with steroids and allergy pills, but there was no indication what the allergen may be. I had some strange side effects to the steroids, beginning with a rash that started on my face and was spreading down my torso. Then I had a few other quirky things happen so we decided steroids were not the best treatment option. I had a strong feeling it was not a pollen allergy and so I just took the Zyrtec to appease the Dr. He asked that if it flared up again I come in to see him right away. Last Sunday night I put some Vitamin E under my eyes, which has been my practice for a couple of years now. I've known for some time that I'm very sensitive there and can't use most lotions without getting itchy and uncomfortable, but have never had any real swelling. Vitamin E is the only thing I've found which was safe... until now. This is how I woke up Monday morning:
No... my nose was not swollen too, I just held the camera about 5 inches from my face to get this shot, which should also account for why I look rather cross-eyed. I propose that, should I one day be engaged, you show these pictures to my future husband and tell him this is what I look like in the morning. If he can find the humor in it and love me still - he's a keeper!
The new theory is that I've recently developed an allergy to some ingredient in the Vitamin E capsules. The allergist and I have narrowed it down to Gelatin. Being the curious type that I am, I popped another one open and rubbed it on my arm just to see if I would have a reaction there. Sure enough, I had little red bumps that were barely noticable in the morning. As the day went on it began to itch and by the next morning, despite several washings, it was noticeably spreading and more bothersome. The funny part is, last time this happened I kept putting more and more Vtamin E on to soothe the discomfort, not realizing I was multiplying it! My new find is chapstick - that seems to be ok and has helped to soothe the discomfort. I've also used some prescription strength hydrocortisone to take down the swelling and redness. The Dr said it's pretty much the same reaction someone would have from rubbing poison ivy under their eyes if they were allergic to it (which I am not!) So as you can imagine, after a week of treating myself with the irritant I was looking much worse than this picture after just one exposure to it. I'm convinced this isn't a food allergy, that it's just a contact allergy. I'm believing I will be able to enjoy Jello in the future, but there's only one way to find out...
On another note, my beloved Miss Keri has yet again blessed me by sharing a great music find. Before she left for vacation last week she dropped off the newest Na Band CD : Looked Upon. After about 3 days I decided this would be well worth adding to my own library and had one placed on order which I was hoping would arrive before she came home and wanted hers back :-) I would highly recommend this CD to anyone in the world! These people have incredible music gifts! Musically it is the best CD I have heard in a long time. But the words are just excellent! They are so gospel centered, and performed with an evident genuineness. I'm provoked to love God more and pursue more diligently what it means to worship in spirit and in truth because of examples like this! Here is the last verse from one of my very favorite songs on Looked Upon:
Stretch out Your arm, victorious King
My reigning sins subdue
Defeat the pride that dwells within
Keep Calvary in my view
A guilty, weak, and helpless soul
Into Your hands I fall
Lord, be my strength and righteousness
My Jesus, be my all
My Jesus, be my all
My Jesus, be my all
taken from "Jesus, Be My All (How Sad Our State)"
words by Isaac Watts (1709), additional words by Devon Kauflin and Bob Kauflin 2008
Thank you Keri for sharing your passion for Jesus and appreciation for music with me! I'm so glad I have you as a friend, a sister, a neighbor, a care group carpooler and a worship team cohort. You are a blessing to me and I thank God for you!
No... my nose was not swollen too, I just held the camera about 5 inches from my face to get this shot, which should also account for why I look rather cross-eyed. I propose that, should I one day be engaged, you show these pictures to my future husband and tell him this is what I look like in the morning. If he can find the humor in it and love me still - he's a keeper!
The new theory is that I've recently developed an allergy to some ingredient in the Vitamin E capsules. The allergist and I have narrowed it down to Gelatin. Being the curious type that I am, I popped another one open and rubbed it on my arm just to see if I would have a reaction there. Sure enough, I had little red bumps that were barely noticable in the morning. As the day went on it began to itch and by the next morning, despite several washings, it was noticeably spreading and more bothersome. The funny part is, last time this happened I kept putting more and more Vtamin E on to soothe the discomfort, not realizing I was multiplying it! My new find is chapstick - that seems to be ok and has helped to soothe the discomfort. I've also used some prescription strength hydrocortisone to take down the swelling and redness. The Dr said it's pretty much the same reaction someone would have from rubbing poison ivy under their eyes if they were allergic to it (which I am not!) So as you can imagine, after a week of treating myself with the irritant I was looking much worse than this picture after just one exposure to it. I'm convinced this isn't a food allergy, that it's just a contact allergy. I'm believing I will be able to enjoy Jello in the future, but there's only one way to find out...
On another note, my beloved Miss Keri has yet again blessed me by sharing a great music find. Before she left for vacation last week she dropped off the newest Na Band CD : Looked Upon. After about 3 days I decided this would be well worth adding to my own library and had one placed on order which I was hoping would arrive before she came home and wanted hers back :-) I would highly recommend this CD to anyone in the world! These people have incredible music gifts! Musically it is the best CD I have heard in a long time. But the words are just excellent! They are so gospel centered, and performed with an evident genuineness. I'm provoked to love God more and pursue more diligently what it means to worship in spirit and in truth because of examples like this! Here is the last verse from one of my very favorite songs on Looked Upon:
Stretch out Your arm, victorious King
My reigning sins subdue
Defeat the pride that dwells within
Keep Calvary in my view
A guilty, weak, and helpless soul
Into Your hands I fall
Lord, be my strength and righteousness
My Jesus, be my all
My Jesus, be my all
My Jesus, be my all
taken from "Jesus, Be My All (How Sad Our State)"
words by Isaac Watts (1709), additional words by Devon Kauflin and Bob Kauflin 2008
Thank you Keri for sharing your passion for Jesus and appreciation for music with me! I'm so glad I have you as a friend, a sister, a neighbor, a care group carpooler and a worship team cohort. You are a blessing to me and I thank God for you!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
My Dear Valentines
I love my Valentines! God is so kind to give me such dear friends! I got to spend some time out with Julie this week and was refreshed and encouraged by sharing sweet fellowship with her. I'm going to guess that 9 out of 10 people who would visit this blog can quickly agree with that statement. (The other "1" would be family or others who may not know her) Julie, I love your desire to honor God as a wife and mother and how you tirelessly seek ways to care for the ladies in our care group and throughout the church. You speak openly and specifically about your sin, and you do a great job giving and receiving encouragement! Thank you for the way you regularly invite me into your life and the reality of the battle against flesh. You are often on my heart and prayed for with much love!
On top of Keith finding tons of practical ways to care for and serve our family, and helping me understand scripture more clearly, he has this uncanny ability to bust on me and encourage me at the same time. I'm not quite sure how that happens, but I don't have another brother quite like him. I'm so glad he's my care group leader and I can't imagine having a better one. Thanks for all the time and energy you've poured into us over the last 2 years, and especially the burden you've carried for Gene and the faithful outworkings of that! We are grateful!
One of my favorite memories so far with Keith and Julie was this Valentine's Day when they showed up at my door with gifts and notes from ladies in our care group (thank you again to all who had a part in that) and topped it off with a singing telegram. I wish I had a video of that to share, but no such luck.
Julie mentioned on her blog that the kids were here and had a water balloon fight last weekend. She kind of missed the punch line though - I used regular balloons and they wouldn't pop when the kids threw them at each other. So I had a yard full of unpopped ballons and a group of kids yelling, "Owe! Please don't" as they were pelting each other with them. I finally convinced them it was all part of the game and no reason to cry. I'm not sure I'll get to babysit them again... I guess it depends on the size of the bruises.
After that we stuck to the squirt bottles but poor Caleb couldn't get his little fingers wrapped around the trigger unless it was facing towards him. He seemed to be fine with this and entertained himself rather than chasing the other kids. I took this video of him with my camera and he kept looking at me and saying, "Cheeese!" Could these kids get any cuter? I love it!
On top of Keith finding tons of practical ways to care for and serve our family, and helping me understand scripture more clearly, he has this uncanny ability to bust on me and encourage me at the same time. I'm not quite sure how that happens, but I don't have another brother quite like him. I'm so glad he's my care group leader and I can't imagine having a better one. Thanks for all the time and energy you've poured into us over the last 2 years, and especially the burden you've carried for Gene and the faithful outworkings of that! We are grateful!
One of my favorite memories so far with Keith and Julie was this Valentine's Day when they showed up at my door with gifts and notes from ladies in our care group (thank you again to all who had a part in that) and topped it off with a singing telegram. I wish I had a video of that to share, but no such luck.
Julie mentioned on her blog that the kids were here and had a water balloon fight last weekend. She kind of missed the punch line though - I used regular balloons and they wouldn't pop when the kids threw them at each other. So I had a yard full of unpopped ballons and a group of kids yelling, "Owe! Please don't" as they were pelting each other with them. I finally convinced them it was all part of the game and no reason to cry. I'm not sure I'll get to babysit them again... I guess it depends on the size of the bruises.
After that we stuck to the squirt bottles but poor Caleb couldn't get his little fingers wrapped around the trigger unless it was facing towards him. He seemed to be fine with this and entertained himself rather than chasing the other kids. I took this video of him with my camera and he kept looking at me and saying, "Cheeese!" Could these kids get any cuter? I love it!
our picnic lunch
Thank you Julie for giving me permission to post these. I hope you get to enjoy the videos now :-)
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Our Growing Family and Praises to God!
First of all - and LEAST importantly - I think today may end a little quest I've been on. It is extremely rare for me to wear a bathing suit. Some summers I don't even get in a pool once so I don't think much about swim suit shopping. I have one that has functioned but I'm not satisfied with the modesty factor on it. With our trip to Hawaii in view I've been praying for a solution and remembering how very difficult it is to find suitable swim wear. I am not an ocean person at all but I have a feeling that will change when we get to Oahu :-) Andrew has offered to teach me to surf and I have every hope of making an "attempt". I'm not expecting it to be pretty, but it will be worth the memory. Today I found some board shorts that, after a little altering, I think will go quite nicely with a full length swim top I have. Niiiice. God is good!
Second of all - and more significantly - my younger sister, Jill, is officially engaged! Next spring I get a new brother-in-law and Xavier gets an Uncle Andrew! We are very excited for them and have seen this coming for many months. Xavier's been tackling him like an uncle for several holiday gatherings now. I love how the Lord keeps adding to our already big family and all of my brothers-in-law just fit in so perfectly with our craziness even though they all have one sibling or were only children growing up. They are some of the neatest men I know and give me hope for what the Lord may have ahead for me.
Third of all - and a little more exciting because I was not expecting this one - I'm going to be an Aunt again! Lord willing, in February, Lori and Jason will welcome their second little one and I get to torment them with snuggles and kisses and tickles! I love having nieces and nephews and Xavier gets such a kick out of how his cousins admire him. The oldest ones are 2 years old and both talk about him quite a bit and watch his every move when they're together (which I remind him of regularly!).
And lastly - and HUGEST of all! - it seems like the Lord is really doing a work in Gene (Xavier's father)! He is really wanting to come to church and is not showing the opposition he once had to the gospel. Several men in our church have been seeking to reach out to him and he is open and responding to them! I can't put in to words what a blessing that is to me as it can be very difficult for me to care for him as a single woman. Please be praying that God would save him and that he would be firmly rooted, not spring up for a time and then wither away. There seems to be a real conviction to turn from a pursuit of sin and he no longer disputes scriptures I mention. This is such a change from even a year ago! Please also pray for his girlfriend, Angie. She is a professing Christian and is supportive of him making these changes (specifically moving into separate homes) while still hoping to one day get married. This is exciting stuff! Could it be that after years of prayer and pleading the Lord is bringing repentance and salvation? Oh please join me in prayer here! God is so merciful!
Second of all - and more significantly - my younger sister, Jill, is officially engaged! Next spring I get a new brother-in-law and Xavier gets an Uncle Andrew! We are very excited for them and have seen this coming for many months. Xavier's been tackling him like an uncle for several holiday gatherings now. I love how the Lord keeps adding to our already big family and all of my brothers-in-law just fit in so perfectly with our craziness even though they all have one sibling or were only children growing up. They are some of the neatest men I know and give me hope for what the Lord may have ahead for me.
Third of all - and a little more exciting because I was not expecting this one - I'm going to be an Aunt again! Lord willing, in February, Lori and Jason will welcome their second little one and I get to torment them with snuggles and kisses and tickles! I love having nieces and nephews and Xavier gets such a kick out of how his cousins admire him. The oldest ones are 2 years old and both talk about him quite a bit and watch his every move when they're together (which I remind him of regularly!).
And lastly - and HUGEST of all! - it seems like the Lord is really doing a work in Gene (Xavier's father)! He is really wanting to come to church and is not showing the opposition he once had to the gospel. Several men in our church have been seeking to reach out to him and he is open and responding to them! I can't put in to words what a blessing that is to me as it can be very difficult for me to care for him as a single woman. Please be praying that God would save him and that he would be firmly rooted, not spring up for a time and then wither away. There seems to be a real conviction to turn from a pursuit of sin and he no longer disputes scriptures I mention. This is such a change from even a year ago! Please also pray for his girlfriend, Angie. She is a professing Christian and is supportive of him making these changes (specifically moving into separate homes) while still hoping to one day get married. This is exciting stuff! Could it be that after years of prayer and pleading the Lord is bringing repentance and salvation? Oh please join me in prayer here! God is so merciful!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Bless the Lord!
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy
name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who
forgives all you iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems you life
from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you
with good so that your strength is renewed like the eagle's.
name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who
forgives all you iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems you life
from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you
with good so that your strength is renewed like the eagle's.
Psalm 103:1-5
After more than a week of having growing discomfort and swollen eyes that would impair my vision at times and make it very difficult to work, I am now doing amazingly better. My doctor was not sure how to treat me at first since I have no known allergies other than to dairy and this was lasting too long (and worsening) for any dairy to still be in my system.
My mom was such a hero yesterday. She picked Xavier and me up to get him to school and me to work because I was really having trouble seeing well enough to feel comfortable driving. If you don't know this about me - it takes a lot for me to not be willing to drive. I feel handicapped without a car - yes the Lord is working on idolatry here and where I place my hope. Then a couple of hours later she picked me up at work and went with me for a follow up appt w/ the Dr. I was going to be treated for cellulitis with antibiotics, I have a prescription for bloodwork to be done on my kidneys and thyroid, and about 7 other prescriptions which I have not filled because they've all been, "You can try this, just in case that's what you have and see if it works". The Lord has ordained that my budget prohibited lots of drug "sampling" and I've just had to seek him for wisdom. The first prescriptions were not helpful.
Yesterday the Dr consulted with an allergist and he wants to see me on Tuesday and gave some recommendations for how to better treat an allergy. So I am now on Zyrtec and Prednisone and already looking incredibly recovered! I woke up this morning and could see! The swelling is so minimal now you can hardly tell and the redness has all but subsided. I actually have open cuts under both of my eyes from how raw they have been! I keep putting chapstick on them to heal the skin and Xavier says, "Your eyes smell minty."
God is so good! For those of you who knew and were praying - Thank you! Please continue to pray for wisdom for the Allergist this week and for God to continually provide the means for treatment. I'm curious to find the allergen since I've never had anything and then to out of no where have such a strong reaction. Some coworkers avoided me or squinted their eyes, saying it was painful for them to even look at me, but most of my close friends helped me to laugh at myself and were gracious with my impaired speed and inability to think clearly at times (when I was consumed with my body screaming at me). Thank you Lord, you are strong and kind to heal!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Girly Things Through a Boy's Eyes
I stopped into Green Valley Nursery tonight to pick up a gift for a coworker. After smelling 90% of the candles they had I made my selection. As I was finishing up Xavier asked me to turn and look at something behind me. He pointed to a shelf of taper candles and asked, "What are these?" Before I could answer he whispered excitedly, "Dynamite?"
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