Remaining with God - Last Entry

You know those times when the Lord keeps hitting on a specific theme, or in cases like this just one specific passage of scripture? Isn't that sweet? The first time I remember feeling the weight of this verse was just a couple of years ago while I was reading a book about single life as a Christian (I honestly can't even remember which book it was). The author quoted 1 Corinthians 7:17 "Only let each person lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him." I remember the lightbulb moment of realizing, "Oh! Scripture says it that plainly and clearly!" That is a great nugget verse for me in the battle for contentment. I love the thoroughness of scripture - that God just covers every topic clearly and perfectly. This enlightenment came at a time where I still was very prone to covetting mothers who get to be home with their children and even get to home school them. That's a desire I've had probably as long as I've been a mother, but God has had other very good plans which I would be missing out on. His wisdom is so far beyond mine and is absolutely perfect!

I've been reading "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper which has a chapter entitled: Remaining With God, addressing many people's call to bring glory to God and share the gospel in a secular work setting. The title of the chapter is drawn from the concluding verse of the passage which starts with 1Cor. 7:17. Verse 24 says, "So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God. Well guess what - God called me as a single mother - and he has seen fit to keep me there. Right now that necessitates that I work to provide for my family and that brings glory to God. It means that I must find him alone sufficient for every need and want and I am never disappointed! But how helpful it is to look at scripture and be certain that God is sovereign and good and that he has perfectly designed this for his glory. This is the life he has generously and graciously assigned to me. And how sweet it is compared to the "life" I would have if he had not turned me from my sin! Knowing that gives me much peace and joy in the day to day. And he does give me ample opportunity to speak about him with coworkers which I would not have if I were not blessed with this calling! And it blows my mind when I look back over these years and see a trail of lives affected by the gospel and saved from hell! because of how he uses weak vessels!

Another thing which really struck me in this book was the challenge to deny myself more for the direct benefit of others. While there are countless ways to do this, there was one that the Lord kept bringing to mind and giving me a real longing to pursue. It has a financial commitment involved and this is a season where the budget is changing dramatically already. So after seeking God's direction for where I could cut back on spending for myself so I might be able to sow toward others I began to see that internet and phone are really a luxury right now. This opportunity is so much more important and will, Lord willing, one day have an eternal impact. So this means no more posting, but sadder than that is not being able to keep up with friends' blogs. I'll try to find time on lunch breaks to peek in on my girls and see how each of you are doing. Thank you for all of the sweet and encouraging thoughts you've left for me here. You are dear sisters and I thank God for you!

A Misty Morning

We had a mildly foggy morning recently , the kind where if you look at a dark background you can actually see the water droplets swirling up around you. So I went out web-shooting. It's a little creepy to consider how very many spiders are all around us but we just don't see most of them. I like seeing their webs in the dew though. One of those displays of God's glory my Mom taught me to appreciate.

I don't know what kind of spiders make these webs in the grass but our lawn was spotted with them all over, this was the biggest.




Our pretty Tiger Liles at the back of the yard


I had to run to Walmart for a few things this morning. I often feel silly having Xavier use my girly smelling soap, though he never complains. So I offered to get him some manly soap. He was very excited! He sniffed each package until we found a winner. As I added it to the basket he asked, "Can I get some deodorant too?" The clerk in the aisle laughed at him and reminded me how very quickly these years are passing.

When we got home he helped put things away and was eager to open a bar of "his soap". To his amusement the bar actually says, "Dial for Men" on it :-) I told him to look manly so I could take a picture of him with his manly soap. In the first shot he must have been distracted by those big biceps. Doesn't he look macho... in front of the flowery shower curtain? ;-)




While praying before lunch Xavier said, "... and thank you Lord that they stopped killing the flock..." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but the rest of the prayer was pretty sound so I had to ask what he was thinking of here. He clarified that it was in reference to making animal sacrifices. He concluded that "no one must have enjoyed that - except David because he sure sacrificed a lot." He didn't hesitate when I asked him why we don't need to sacrifice animals anymore. Thank you Jesus for becoming the only sacrifice we'll ever need!!!! It was a neat opportunity to recount all the ways scripture points to the saving death of Christ from the beginning of creation. The Lord is really working in Xavier's heart to trust and love him. Any time Xavier prays, no matter what the initial point is, he always thanks Jesus for paying for our sins on the cross. That is so precious and encouraging to my heart! Thank you God for the mercy you pour on our family!

While he was finishing lunch I was reading from our dessert book "A Gospel Primer for Christians" by Milton Vincent. I found this quote so refreshing. The Lord has been focusing my attention on how I have nothing to boast in but Jesus Christ and his willingness to save me. So as I finish going through Romans, and C.B.'s wrapping up Galatians, and I'm relfecting on notes from this series which explain that the gospel is freedom from self not freedom to self (oh that is what I need! Thank you Lord!) I get to read this:

"God deliberately designed the gospel in such a way so as to strip me of pride and leave me without any grounds for boasting in myself whatsoever... Pride wilts in the atmosphere of the gospel... Conversely, humility grows lushly in the atmosphere of the gospel... such humility intensifies my passion for God and causes my heart increasingly to thrill whenever he is praised."

"My soul makes its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear it and rejoice." Psalm 34:2
Oh I want and need more of this - what wonderful news that Jesus had done all that is necessary for me to obtain it!

A New Look and a New CD

Lots of people have heard about the strange allergic reaction I had around my eyes a month ago. Under an allergists care I was being treated with steroids and allergy pills, but there was no indication what the allergen may be. I had some strange side effects to the steroids, beginning with a rash that started on my face and was spreading down my torso. Then I had a few other quirky things happen so we decided steroids were not the best treatment option. I had a strong feeling it was not a pollen allergy and so I just took the Zyrtec to appease the Dr. He asked that if it flared up again I come in to see him right away. Last Sunday night I put some Vitamin E under my eyes, which has been my practice for a couple of years now. I've known for some time that I'm very sensitive there and can't use most lotions without getting itchy and uncomfortable, but have never had any real swelling. Vitamin E is the only thing I've found which was safe... until now. This is how I woke up Monday morning:

No... my nose was not swollen too, I just held the camera about 5 inches from my face to get this shot, which should also account for why I look rather cross-eyed. I propose that, should I one day be engaged, you show these pictures to my future husband and tell him this is what I look like in the morning. If he can find the humor in it and love me still - he's a keeper!

The new theory is that I've recently developed an allergy to some ingredient in the Vitamin E capsules. The allergist and I have narrowed it down to Gelatin. Being the curious type that I am, I popped another one open and rubbed it on my arm just to see if I would have a reaction there. Sure enough, I had little red bumps that were barely noticable in the morning. As the day went on it began to itch and by the next morning, despite several washings, it was noticeably spreading and more bothersome. The funny part is, last time this happened I kept putting more and more Vtamin E on to soothe the discomfort, not realizing I was multiplying it! My new find is chapstick - that seems to be ok and has helped to soothe the discomfort. I've also used some prescription strength hydrocortisone to take down the swelling and redness. The Dr said it's pretty much the same reaction someone would have from rubbing poison ivy under their eyes if they were allergic to it (which I am not!) So as you can imagine, after a week of treating myself with the irritant I was looking much worse than this picture after just one exposure to it. I'm convinced this isn't a food allergy, that it's just a contact allergy. I'm believing I will be able to enjoy Jello in the future, but there's only one way to find out...

On another note, my beloved Miss Keri has yet again blessed me by sharing a great music find. Before she left for vacation last week she dropped off the newest Na Band CD : Looked Upon. After about 3 days I decided this would be well worth adding to my own library and had one placed on order which I was hoping would arrive before she came home and wanted hers back :-) I would highly recommend this CD to anyone in the world! These people have incredible music gifts! Musically it is the best CD I have heard in a long time. But the words are just excellent! They are so gospel centered, and performed with an evident genuineness. I'm provoked to love God more and pursue more diligently what it means to worship in spirit and in truth because of examples like this! Here is the last verse from one of my very favorite songs on Looked Upon:

Stretch out Your arm, victorious King
My reigning sins subdue
Defeat the pride that dwells within
Keep Calvary in my view
A guilty, weak, and helpless soul
Into Your hands I fall
Lord, be my strength and righteousness
My Jesus, be my all
My Jesus, be my all
My Jesus, be my all
taken from "Jesus, Be My All (How Sad Our State)"
words by Isaac Watts (1709), additional words by Devon Kauflin and Bob Kauflin 2008

Thank you Keri for sharing your passion for Jesus and appreciation for music with me! I'm so glad I have you as a friend, a sister, a neighbor, a care group carpooler and a worship team cohort. You are a blessing to me and I thank God for you!

My Dear Valentines

I love my Valentines! God is so kind to give me such dear friends! I got to spend some time out with Julie this week and was refreshed and encouraged by sharing sweet fellowship with her. I'm going to guess that 9 out of 10 people who would visit this blog can quickly agree with that statement. (The other "1" would be family or others who may not know her) Julie, I love your desire to honor God as a wife and mother and how you tirelessly seek ways to care for the ladies in our care group and throughout the church. You speak openly and specifically about your sin, and you do a great job giving and receiving encouragement! Thank you for the way you regularly invite me into your life and the reality of the battle against flesh. You are often on my heart and prayed for with much love!

On top of Keith finding tons of practical ways to care for and serve our family, and helping me understand scripture more clearly, he has this uncanny ability to bust on me and encourage me at the same time. I'm not quite sure how that happens, but I don't have another brother quite like him. I'm so glad he's my care group leader and I can't imagine having a better one. Thanks for all the time and energy you've poured into us over the last 2 years, and especially the burden you've carried for Gene and the faithful outworkings of that! We are grateful!

One of my favorite memories so far with Keith and Julie was this Valentine's Day when they showed up at my door with gifts and notes from ladies in our care group (thank you again to all who had a part in that) and topped it off with a singing telegram. I wish I had a video of that to share, but no such luck.


Julie mentioned on her blog that the kids were here and had a water balloon fight last weekend. She kind of missed the punch line though - I used regular balloons and they wouldn't pop when the kids threw them at each other. So I had a yard full of unpopped ballons and a group of kids yelling, "Owe! Please don't" as they were pelting each other with them. I finally convinced them it was all part of the game and no reason to cry. I'm not sure I'll get to babysit them again... I guess it depends on the size of the bruises.



After that we stuck to the squirt bottles but poor Caleb couldn't get his little fingers wrapped around the trigger unless it was facing towards him. He seemed to be fine with this and entertained himself rather than chasing the other kids. I took this video of him with my camera and he kept looking at me and saying, "Cheeese!" Could these kids get any cuter? I love it!

our picnic lunch

Thank you Julie for giving me permission to post these. I hope you get to enjoy the videos now :-)

Our Growing Family and Praises to God!

First of all - and LEAST importantly - I think today may end a little quest I've been on. It is extremely rare for me to wear a bathing suit. Some summers I don't even get in a pool once so I don't think much about swim suit shopping. I have one that has functioned but I'm not satisfied with the modesty factor on it. With our trip to Hawaii in view I've been praying for a solution and remembering how very difficult it is to find suitable swim wear. I am not an ocean person at all but I have a feeling that will change when we get to Oahu :-) Andrew has offered to teach me to surf and I have every hope of making an "attempt". I'm not expecting it to be pretty, but it will be worth the memory. Today I found some board shorts that, after a little altering, I think will go quite nicely with a full length swim top I have. Niiiice. God is good!

Second of all - and more significantly - my younger sister, Jill, is officially engaged! Next spring I get a new brother-in-law and Xavier gets an Uncle Andrew! We are very excited for them and have seen this coming for many months. Xavier's been tackling him like an uncle for several holiday gatherings now. I love how the Lord keeps adding to our already big family and all of my brothers-in-law just fit in so perfectly with our craziness even though they all have one sibling or were only children growing up. They are some of the neatest men I know and give me hope for what the Lord may have ahead for me.

Third of all - and a little more exciting because I was not expecting this one - I'm going to be an Aunt again! Lord willing, in February, Lori and Jason will welcome their second little one and I get to torment them with snuggles and kisses and tickles! I love having nieces and nephews and Xavier gets such a kick out of how his cousins admire him. The oldest ones are 2 years old and both talk about him quite a bit and watch his every move when they're together (which I remind him of regularly!).

And lastly - and HUGEST of all! - it seems like the Lord is really doing a work in Gene (Xavier's father)! He is really wanting to come to church and is not showing the opposition he once had to the gospel. Several men in our church have been seeking to reach out to him and he is open and responding to them! I can't put in to words what a blessing that is to me as it can be very difficult for me to care for him as a single woman. Please be praying that God would save him and that he would be firmly rooted, not spring up for a time and then wither away. There seems to be a real conviction to turn from a pursuit of sin and he no longer disputes scriptures I mention. This is such a change from even a year ago! Please also pray for his girlfriend, Angie. She is a professing Christian and is supportive of him making these changes (specifically moving into separate homes) while still hoping to one day get married. This is exciting stuff! Could it be that after years of prayer and pleading the Lord is bringing repentance and salvation? Oh please join me in prayer here! God is so merciful!

Bless the Lord!

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy
name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who
forgives all you iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems you life
from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you
with good so that your strength is renewed like the eagle's.

Psalm 103:1-5

After more than a week of having growing discomfort and swollen eyes that would impair my vision at times and make it very difficult to work, I am now doing amazingly better. My doctor was not sure how to treat me at first since I have no known allergies other than to dairy and this was lasting too long (and worsening) for any dairy to still be in my system.

My mom was such a hero yesterday. She picked Xavier and me up to get him to school and me to work because I was really having trouble seeing well enough to feel comfortable driving. If you don't know this about me - it takes a lot for me to not be willing to drive. I feel handicapped without a car - yes the Lord is working on idolatry here and where I place my hope. Then a couple of hours later she picked me up at work and went with me for a follow up appt w/ the Dr. I was going to be treated for cellulitis with antibiotics, I have a prescription for bloodwork to be done on my kidneys and thyroid, and about 7 other prescriptions which I have not filled because they've all been, "You can try this, just in case that's what you have and see if it works". The Lord has ordained that my budget prohibited lots of drug "sampling" and I've just had to seek him for wisdom. The first prescriptions were not helpful.

Yesterday the Dr consulted with an allergist and he wants to see me on Tuesday and gave some recommendations for how to better treat an allergy. So I am now on Zyrtec and Prednisone and already looking incredibly recovered! I woke up this morning and could see! The swelling is so minimal now you can hardly tell and the redness has all but subsided. I actually have open cuts under both of my eyes from how raw they have been! I keep putting chapstick on them to heal the skin and Xavier says, "Your eyes smell minty."

God is so good! For those of you who knew and were praying - Thank you! Please continue to pray for wisdom for the Allergist this week and for God to continually provide the means for treatment. I'm curious to find the allergen since I've never had anything and then to out of no where have such a strong reaction. Some coworkers avoided me or squinted their eyes, saying it was painful for them to even look at me, but most of my close friends helped me to laugh at myself and were gracious with my impaired speed and inability to think clearly at times (when I was consumed with my body screaming at me). Thank you Lord, you are strong and kind to heal!

Girly Things Through a Boy's Eyes

I stopped into Green Valley Nursery tonight to pick up a gift for a coworker. After smelling 90% of the candles they had I made my selection. As I was finishing up Xavier asked me to turn and look at something behind me. He pointed to a shelf of taper candles and asked, "What are these?" Before I could answer he whispered excitedly, "Dynamite?"

A Sweet Long Weekend

This has been such a fun and sweet weekend. There were several commitments I had, all of which God just removed from me. I had three days to just relax and enjoy my family. Friday night I picked up hamburgers and told Xavier we could watch a movie before bed. He yelled, "Yea! It's date night again!" When I asked him what a date is he replied, "It's when you drink wine and pan-shane (champaign)" I didn't address his pronounciation, but corrected his perception of what a "date" is. I explained that it is when you get to spend time with someone and talk with them to learn more about their heart. I told him I often have dates with Mrs. Inglin or Mrs. Valentine and never do we drink either of those things!

The skin around my eyes has been bothering me since Wednesday but my eyeballs themselves are perfectly fine. The irritation grew each day and I woke up Saturday morning with both eyes very swollen. I'm not exactly sure why, but I suspect it's an unusual response to some ice cream I ate this week (but it began before I ate it! - only the Lord knows). No sympathy now - I know better! This is a boundary God has set and I sometimes begin thinking it's not real, it's all in my head, I'm just being picky... but then I eat dairy and I'm congested for weeks. So I've spent chunks of each day under the influence of Benadryl with no real benefit but catching up on hours of sleep . It hasn't had any affect on my face, but it's allowed for Xavier to watch lots of videos with me dozing in and out on the sofa. He couldn't have asked for a better weekend!




A feather found at the pond

In between doses I would manage to get outside with him for a while. We went fishing on Saturday. I really believe the Lord would have given me grace to get a fish off the line if he caught anything... but thankfully he didn't :-) We walked over to the creek and dipped our toes in for the first time this year, but it was still much too chilly to think of going any farther in than that.

back by the creek

Today I got to do my favorite household chore: Laundry! I love doing laundry and can't imagine ever growing tired of it, particularly when I get to hang my clothes and sheets outside. I just love it! I get giddy when I see the basket filling up! I'm sure most other moms wonder what it's like to have a day where you don't have to do wash, but it's a treat that doesn't come often enough for me :-) Then Xavier woke up and I got to remind him that it was Memorial Day. We talked about how we remember and honor the men and women who serve our country and protect us. We talked about Jesus being our greatest hero and the most important battle ever won! Then we talked about picking Seth up and all the candy they would get at the parade!


We had so much fun! I love parades! My favorite part is when the drums pound as they're going past and you can feel it in your chest. I also like the old cars, they're so fun. The boys liked all of the fire trucks and the old cars too, and especially the candy! In the middle of the parade one of the fire companies got a call. We saw a driver of the fire truck hand off a young child who had been riding with him and about five men and women who had just marched past turn around and run to the truck. They backed up and turned around quickly. The boys and I prayed for them and the people they were protecting. After the moment of initial surprise the crowd erupted with applause to honor these people for leaving a scene of glory to go serve yet again.

Root Beer floats after a long hot day

(soy ice cream - for the record!)

It has been so sweet to slow down and spend time with Xavier. He's really a funny guy and growing into a young man who loves the Lord. I bought a much needed new pair of sunglasses on Saturday and asked him what he thought. He said he didn't like how wide the sides were. I said, "I know, I'm not used to that either... but at least they have flowers on the sides there, that's kind of cute." He quickly, but gently replied, "Mommy, are you being modest?" I was so surprised by the question I just kind of giggled and wondered where that came from, but thanked him profusely for asking. Was I? I asked what modest meant. He said, "When you want people to look at you and they do and they say Wow!" I asked if he thinks that's what people say when they look at me (jokingly)... he said, "No... but I'm just asking cause I wouldn't want you to be 'un-modest'." I was so grateful for him seeking to care for me that way and most importantly to see God be glorified. I don't think I had impure motives in picking my sunglasses. I pretty much look for the cheapest pair I can get without those plastic nose grippers that aren't some outrageous shape or color. How funny and exciting that he would be thinking that way though!





While we were fishing the other day I was seeking to draw him out and asked how I could be praying for him. He said he didn't know. I asked, "Is there anything you need the Lord to help you with?" He said, "Well, catching a fish would be a good one." We just sat there laughing. I was laughing partly because I was asking myself : do I really want to pray for that?





Tonight at supper he declared that if I am ever lost he will call 911. When I asked what he would say to them he replied, "My mommy is lost. She has brown hair, big brown eyes, a funny nose and a chewing mouth... giggles... and flowered sunglasses... giggles... and she looks beautiful!" Later he added big ears to the description! Was the big eyes comment meant to be a compliment... or a knock on my puffiness? Too bad for him he looks just like me!

A Date Night

Tonight I got to share a special evening with my little man. First I took him to Isaac's. This is one of our very favorite restaurants. It's rarely busy and we both enjoy the food and atmosphere for a pretty good price. Here he is making his own Peanut Butter, Jelly and Marshmallow Sandwich on Rainbow Bread. He had a lot of fun with the extra long bendy straw. He had it tied in knots and zig zags. This is a heart he made for me.

Then we paid a visit to Miss Leah for some fabulous new do's.


Before

After - The back is higher than before, not sure if you can really tell

While she trimmed me up Xavier flipped through a book Leah had made of styles she likes. He changed his mind a couple of times, but settled on a very fun punky looking teenage boy. I think he looks adorable! He's curious if his friends will recognize him tomorrow.

Before with his beloved Shag look

getting close to bed time, yet Miss Leah plugs away

Ta-Da! A more modern rocker look
His sense of style cracks me up

Thank you Lord for Xavier and the fun I get to have with him!

As we were waiting for Leah to finish with her client before us I picked up the newspaper (which is extremely rare for me, but God had us waiting there and drew my attention to it) and read a very sad article about someone I used to know and how her sin was hurting her child and the judgment she is now facing for it under our nations laws. I sat there weeping and praying for this family and God pierced my heart with grace. If it were not for him drawing me out of death and away from my pursuit of sin I have no doubt that it would be me in the papers and the story would be much worse. I would not be out enjoying my child and talking about God's goodness together over dinner. Xavier snuggled up to me when he saw the tears and I just held him and reminded him again that God has been so merciful to a sinner like me! Thank you Jesus for standing in my place! I go free because you have taken every last drop of the punishment I've earned!

All Boy

Xavier asked if he could play outside after supper tonight. I was reluctant since it looks like rain could come any minute now. I asked what he wanted to do out there and without hesitating he casually replied, "Well, I was gonna find a tree branch and lift weights or something because I'm not very strong yet." I had to laugh at the picture that popped into my head. And his desire to just be a boy compelled me to release him to the great outdoors.

After a few minutes he was calling me to the window to see a discovery he'd made. There was a whole family of earth worms living under a rock by the shed. They were all different sizes and pretty interesting to him. I realized that I had never really pondered where worms come from and how small a wormy starts out. Some were very tiny!

Not long after he called me again to see a caterpillar he'd found. I stroked it in his hand and commented on how still it was staying. I said, "I'm not sure this is alive Honey." He said, "I know. He suffocated." I asked how that happened. He said, "He suffocated in the spider web before I pulled him out." Eww! I touched that! (I took the picture before I heard the story)

My Little Theologian?

Xavier was trying to sing the song John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt the other day. I never heard that song until I was a grown up but people assure me it's very popular with children. There's a scene in a movie we watched recently where they show kids singing it for a few seconds so I guess that's where he was introduced to it. He couldn't remember the words apparently because he was walking around singing "John Piper Jambalaya Smith".

Last night I asked him to pick a book for us to read together. He chose a book about George Muller - not what I expected. After reading a bit I asked him why he had chosen that one, and with such enthusiasm. He replied, "Cause that guy has really cool hair!"

New Mercies

Mercy - compassionate treatment , esp. of those under one's power. a disposition to be kind and forgiving. a blessing

(from the American Heritage Dictionary)

"But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:21-22

I was reminded of this verse recently as Xavier came home with some fun and surprising news. I think I've battled with anxiety over him starting school from the time he was about 9 months old. I would worry about where he would go to school - would God provide for us to move out of the city? Would he know when and where to get off the bus? Would he face bullies? All kinds of absurd things which I was never called to bear.

God did provide for us to move out of the city and what an unexpected way to answer prayer! This home is far beyond what we asked or imagined! Yet I must not have been convinced of his faithfulness because I would still have to fight hyperventilating when I thought about adding homework into our daily routine. His homework load has been extremely light and is usually finished when I pick him up from daycare so I just go over it with him. He is doing wonderfully in school despite the small amount of time I get to spend with him in the evenings before bed.

Two weeks ago Xavier came home with his first project: a diorama. I don't know how many times I had to cast that care as I kept looking at the calendar and my wallet. This had come at a time where I was particularly short on money, supplies and time. I didn't know how this was going to look or how I was going to help him learn to budget what's been laid before him. Through hard work and sacrifice (and much prayer) he was finally finished! He was quite proud of his work and eager to get to school on Monday. On Wednesday I picked him up and he was excited for me to guess what grade he received on the diorama. I guessed a letter and he responded, "No! It's a number!" So I guessed a percentage and he said, "Mommy! There are only 3 numbers to choose from... I got a 3." He then showed me a Third Place ribbon! Not what I was expecting at all. It was so neat to get to encourage him for working so hard at his task and being rewarded, but what was foremost in my mind was God's faithfulness. He does not fail to meet me right where I am and fulfill each need for that season!

He is so good to us beyond what I deserve. He gives me the desire and the strength to put forth these weak efforts and he just multiplies the benefit and lavishes me with blessings!

Another of our latest adventures was when Xavier almost stepped on a snake in the backyard. I saw something ahead of him in the grass and realized what it was in time to calmly put a hand out and encourage him to wait. I was trying to be very deliberate not to make him afraid but to make him aware. As he stopped I could tell something wasn't right. This snake was missing it's head! I'm not sure what happened but it was only half a snake and completely harmless. I asked him if he would like to get a stick and dump it in the woods. He didn't hesitate. He ran back and scooped it up to examine it before sending it back to the dust. We were talking about how the Bible said that Jesus would crush the head of the serpent and we would be free from sin and death. There was nothing left to fear. How kind of God to send an illustration that would pique the interest of a young boy :-)

Happy Birthday Xavier!

Please be kind enough to tell me if I ever sing like this! The lyrics are "Happy Birthday to me, in one more day"



Wow! 7 years! I am so thankful that I've had seven years with my son! He is such a joy to me and God has used him to reveal my sin more clearly than any other individual I know. It's been fun over the last couple of days recounting his birth story with him. I remember holding tiny baby clothes up and trying to picture a face in there... what would my baby look like? I was telling him tonight that when I first saw him I remember clearly thinking, "Oh, of course - how else would he look?" He was just right. He looked just like his family. I was able to let go of the soap opera fear that maybe someone would switch my baby and I wouldn't be able to tell - there was no denying this boy was mine! The sweetest part was the day after he was born ~ when God stripped me of my heart of stone and gave me a new heart of flesh! I look back and see how God was softening me over the months prior but there was a distinct turning point on April 25th as I lay there alone in that hospital room and the Lord drew me to repentance for a life spent on sin. In days to come I would get a taste of the magnitude of love a parent has for their child and this overwhelming desire to protect this little one. God allowed me to marvel at the work of the cross and how he crushed his son for a wicked rebellious thing like me. I love Xavier's birth story but it's extra special to me because of how inseparable it is from the story of God's saving grace over my life!



7 of My Very Favorite Things About Xavier

• His love for scripture - he is always very eager for Bible time each morning and evening and if we have a late night out he will ask me to come lay in bed with him to read so he won't miss out on it


• His sense of humor - we love being silly together and I love how he's learning to laugh at himself


• His desire to protect me and how he still insists he will marry me one day


• How he is growing in joyful obedience and self-control


• His admiration for men and how he is drawn to those he sees serving and caring for others


• How he is growing in repenting quickly, specifically and sincerely


• That he loves to rock - he shares my appreciation of music and amuses me with his taste. He has liked the band Skillet since he was about 3 years old. He told me the other day that he looked like Elvis when I gave him white athletic pants to wear (they did not have sequins down the side, just a green stripe! I have no clue how he knows about Elvis!) He heard a bit of Stayin Alive this morning by the BeeGees as I flipped past the oldies station and he said, "This is disco." I asked him where he learned that. He said, "I just figured it out."
  

Xavier wanted me to get a video of us singing Amazing Grace together because I've been trying to teach him this harmony. Sometimes he gets it, sometimes he just makes something else up (hey, he's his momma's son!) I told him he could cover his ears so he won't hear me singing my part when we do the harmony if it would help him. You'll see that it didn't work. He still sang something else, but it was funny. I'm embarassed to post this with me singing as well, but you've probably all heard me sing anyway.

Here we are getting ready for his party on Saturday and rather than sucking down whipped cream he asks me to squirt his mouth full of deviled egg filling. He is very serious about his deviled eggs.

This was Xavier's special birthday dinner on Wednesday since he'll be eating w/ Daddy on Thursday

Thank you Lord for Xavier Ryan Speedy Monkey Indiana Jones and thank you for calling me out of death and into life through your work on the cross!

Welcome Spring!

"Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness mercy and love"

- "Great is Thy Faithfulness" by Thomas Chisolm & William Runyan -

I love spring! But much of my enjoyment in spring really flows from how much I LOVE summer!!! Anticipation is half the fun, but I do get giddy over seeing the buds coming forth and hearing the Spring Peepers in the creek on warm nights. I love leaving my winter coat in the closet when I go out the door and I'm beyond eager for the first night I can leave the windows open. Aaah. I was driving home this afternoon and something caught my eye, something beautiful - Magnolia blossoms! They were barely open but I was still stunned by them. I think I may have actually gasped when I saw them because I forgot how they delight my eyes :-) I've been thinking about how Spring is evidence of God's faithfulness. Just like the seasons in a year there are seasons in my walk with the Lord. Each time I feel this great coldness in my heart - when I'm lacking passion, when my eyes only seem to see myself and immediate circumstances, when I am downcast and sinning in unbelief - God is absolutely faithful to bring "spring" to me again. Because of the desperate places my sin takes me, and because he kindly allows me to see that, I long for renewal and fresh vision for his glory. He consistently meets me there and I am never disappointed with where I end up on the other side.

some of the tree buds in our yard

Tonight I was looking at Zechariah 10:1 "Ask rain from the Lord in the season of the spring rain, from the Lord who makes the storm clouds, and he will give them showers of rain, to everyone the vegetation in the field." I was reminded of something the Lord was teaching me this morning on the way to church. I drove past a small pond which is often full to the brim, but today I saw several inches of bare bank above the water level. I was surprised because I haven't been aware of a lack of rain. It seems to me to have rained quite a bit lately, but I tend to be more aware of those days than the amount of sunny ones in between them. But God spoke to me of his wisdom and faithfulness. I am so subjective and my measure of what is "best" is often what makes me most comfortable. Be glad God's wisdom is far beyond mine. He knows just how many sunny days to give and just how much rain we need to be full and effective for him. The direct result of those cool drizzly days are the flowers which are starting to come alive and the trees that are reawakening. God gets glory over how he perfectly measures and balances the sunshine with the storms. He is so trustworthy!

We had a fun day visiting with my sister Cheryl on Saturday. I love getting to spend time with her and my niece and nephew. Her husband was coaching his Quiz Bowl team in a tournament that day so we took the kids to That Fish Place and then later for a walk to a construction site in their neighborhood. Xavier and I had a blast and were smothered with hugs, kisses and giggles. Here are some fun shots from our day.

this eel had his mouth wide open at us like he was waiting to
chomp at anything that crossed his path - very intimidating

you probably can't tell but this hermit crab was about 6 or 7

inches tall and probably almost a foot long to the end of his shell

Xavier's Pet!

Xavier has been asking for a pet. I am not an animal person by anyone's standard. Also, as long as I'm renting we are not allowed to have pets which is FINE with me! We were shopping for a birthday party a few weeks ago when we found these little toy animals which grow when you let them live in water for three weeks. So we brought a little lobster home to watch him grow. Xavier has talked about him like a pet and named him Hermie. This works for me! No training, No feeding. No clean up. No shots. Just 88 cents for three weeks of enjoyment!





Day 2, I think he had already grown a couple of inches overnight!






Week 2, he was promoted to a larger tub after this picture






Week 3 - I put him back in the old tub for perspectives sake

On another note we did something new and exciting today - with the help of our dear friends the Uchida's we purchased our first ever plane tickets! This August we will be flying (Lord willing) to Hawaii with them to visit their family and friends! We are very excited but it still seems unreal. I have never flown, I have never seen a palm tree, I have never seen ocean water which I would want to go into... this will be monumental! Being the newbie I am I picked window seats so Xavier and I can see just a bit more of the grandeur of our great big God and what he has created and perfectly maintains. I'm fully expecting this to be a huge worship experience! Please pray for us that our focus would be God-ward in anticipating and enjoying this gift! I've already been convicted that I am excited to tell people that I'm going to Hawaii so they will share my delight. Shouldn't I be even more excited about going to Heaven? Shouldn't that preoccupy my thoughts and overflow in my speech? And the kicker is - I can offer anyone I talk to a free invitation to join me by trusting in Christ's saving death and resurrection! Oh Lord, grow this heart in me!

Easter

We had so much fun celebrating Easter! I'm not very successful at getting holiday pictures because I'm not a very aggressive photographer. I always feel bad for the kid surrounded by relatives calling, "Over here" "Now look this way" "Here sweetie, look at me!" So it's very rare that I end up with a picture of children actually looking at me. I found myself walking around behind Xavier and my nephew, Braden, taking pictures of their backs while they were hunting eggs and realized what a fruitless effort it was. Here are two I did snap which we can look at in a couple of years and actually be able to tell who it is and what they were doing.




I wanted to get a full group shot because there were so many people there I love (including my brother-in-laws parents and our dear friends the Uchida's!) but my sister Cheryl, her husband Addie, and my darling niece and nephew weren't with us so it just didn't feel the same. We missed you guys and are looking forward to seeing you Saturday!!!

My favorite Easter decoration I saw this year was a wooden cross someone had standing in their front lawn. It was about 5 feet tall and I could tell that there was something written on it as I was driving past. I slowed down enough to see on the cross bar it read, "SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO". Another one I loved were the banners waving from a big old church next door to my work. They were bright purple with a gold crown of thorns on them and simply said, "Thank you Jesus!" The Lord gave me a sweet season of contemplating the price he's paid for my soul. No one needs a Savior more than me!Thank you Jesus!!!

I saw these cute little toys while I was shopping before Easter and couldn't resist picking them up for my nephew to play with on Easter. I figured I would get some for Xavier too so they could both play, but apparently the novelty increases with age. They have suction cups and springs so a few seconds after you push them down they pop up in the air and you can catch them in the basket. No one was very successful at it, but Lori and Jason seem to be enjoying themselves with Xavier. Braden was in the background throwing one up in the air and trying to catch it. I love being silly with them :-)