Favorite Song Poll

God has been so kind to give me these Sunday afternoons as "alone time". But I have to confess - when Gene asked if he could spend time with Xavier every Sunday my heart was not joyful! Sunday afternoons are my only down time usually and I love getting to spend that with my little guy, but it's something God's called me to sacrifice right now and he's been giving me something so much better. He's been regularly calling me closer to him in these times.

Someone approached me today and asked what my favorite Christmas song is. It seemed a bit random, but it turned out to have a point. So today I left church with that question fresh in my mind. I was so excited to get home and break out an old hymnal that my mom gave me from her piano bench a few years ago. It was so sweet to read over the lines of the old familiar songs. Just the tune makes me giddy like I used to get singing them at Christmas Eve services. I love Christmas music. I have to restrain myself, but I love waiting until after Thanksgiving to play Christmas CD's so I don't grow overly familiar with them. I love that season of deeper consideration of how far Christ came to save his people.

So here are the ones in the running. I'm hoping to get input from others as to what their favorites are. You may vote for one I have listed or tell me your own. Maybe I haven't thought of it.

O Come O Come Emmanuel
Angels From the Realms of Glory
Hark, The Herald Angels Sing
Joy To The World
O Little Town of Bethlehem

Each time I open this old hymnal I find new treasures. I enjoy the fact that I don't know the tune to most of the songs. It allows me to focus more on the words. Here are two excerpts that delighted my heart today:

The King of love my Shepherd is,
Whose goodness faileth never;
I nothing lack if I am His,
And He is mine forever.
from The King of Love My Shepherd Is by Henry W. Baker

Upon that cross of Jesus mine eye at times can see
The very dying form of One who suffered there for me;
And from my smitten heart with tears two wonders I confess,
The wonders of His glorious love and my unworthiness.
I take, O cross, thy shadow for my abiding place;
I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of His face;
Content to let the world go by, to know no gain or loss,
My sinful self my only shame, my glory all the cross.
from Beneath the Cross of Jesus by Elizabeth C Clephane

The Trial of .... Wellness?

Wellness meaning health here. Most people would not look at this as a trial, and if you're in the "trial of illness" right now you may even resent me referring to good health that way. If that's the case I do not mean to minimize how exhausting,and at times excruciating, it can be to have an extended illness or be caring for a loved one who does. But I'm reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man." We are often tempted to discontenment when we have the very thing our neighbor may be begging for.

I enjoy being sick, but it doesn't happen very often. I also like when my son is sick, but I have to clarify here that the few times in his life he has been sick have been very mild. He doesn't get many symptoms and will typically mention an ailment just once in passing. Then I take him to the Dr and find out there's something going on in there. I love the opportunity to stay home and care for him, but God has really grown me here over these last 6 years so that I'm not seeing that fist-shaking hard-heartedness I used to. No doubt the folly of this is obvious. What sane mother would want herself and her child to be ill? I think the sinful side of it comes down to the fact that I'm lazy. I like an excuse to lie around and not do any work. I'm proud. I want people to make a fuss over me and cater to me. But I also genuinely love getting to pamper my little guy and comfort him when he's feeling his need for it.

This past week I've had a cold and cough . I have thoroughly enjoyed it even though it's much too mild for me to really consider myself sick. I saw irritation at the fact that a coworker of mine was sicker than I was and people were concerned for her. I was not. I was judgmental of her and had to repent and deliberately pursue compassion. God's getting me there. Then on Thursday night I found out my good friend, Daphne, had pneumonia last Sunday (but didn't know it) and I had spent about 4 hours just an arm's-length away from her - yet I didn't get sick! I was amused at God's sovereignty. He chooses to give me what is good, rather than my heart's desire. Today I was expecting old friends to join us for lunch, but I got a call from Gary saying his wife Rachel was ill and in the hospital but much recovered and being released today, however they would not be able to make it. God did grant me compassion this time, but I saw again just how he tests me. Do I really want his will for me? Or do I want what he has for others?

I had some time alone this afternoon and after dropping Xavier off at his dad's I drove past an old cemetary on the way home. It was a beautiful day, I had time to spend, and I wanted to be outside somewhere with solitude. My mom loves old cemetaries as do a few of my friends so I figured it would be a good place to stop. From the time I arrived there God laid on my heart Psalm 39:4 " O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am!" I looked at memorials to families who lost several children at a young age. One couple buried 6 children all under a year old, most under 6 months in less than 8 years. Another couple had 6 stillborn children over the course of 7 years, and then one child who was with them for 2 years and one for 6 years. That affected my heart. Why do I take my health for granted and even grumble over it? Because I'm sinful. I needed a Savior to pardon my unbelief.

I sat on a bench that was close to the road and at one point I was distracted by a car with loud music passing by and the Lord gave me this vivid memory: 10 years ago I was in the back of an open Jeep with about 10 other people (no we were not wearing seat belts :-o !) flying down that very road with a keg of beer, drinking it from the hose because we weren't waiting to get to the party. Who would have guessed that just a decade later I would be sitting in this cemetary being gently taught about contentment? I deserved to be there, but not in that context!

He gave me so many other nugget lessons on my little stroll. I saw new grass budding on fresh ground and considered how God, in his mercy, has ordained that I might be one who hears the word and receives it (see Matthew 13 for the parable of the sower). My eyes regularly landed on a tombstone engraved with the last name of a coworker and God gently impressed on me the urgency of sharing his glorious gospel with those around me and led me to pray earnestly for individuals. I even looked up at one point to see the name 'Gross' staring back at me and the vision of me just yards away loving my sin a few years ago returned and I wept with gratitude. I have been forgiven and saved from much!

I may not always have the health he's given me now and I don't want to waste it. Lord, help me to love you with all of my strength!

Egg Rolls in Heaven

A few weeks ago Xavier and I were sharing a two pack of Butterscotch Krimpets (how kind of God to give some person the idea to make them!). We were talking about how much we enjoy them and all the many good gifts God lavishes on us. I asked him, "If food is this good here, what do you think the feast in Heaven will be like?" His eyes lit up as he exclaimed that we'll have a McDonald's and Taco Bell right in our house. He began talking about hamburgers, and one million billion triple chicken patties (now, mind you, there will be no gluttony in Heaven), but then he remembered *egg rolls* . We both have a particular fondness for nice crispy pork egg rolls. He was giddy with delight.

Saturday we were going over the songs for worship (one of the benefits of being privy to the worship set before Sunday AM) and talking about the line in "Glories of Calvary" that says "your saints below join with your saints above rejoicing in the risen Lamb." We started talking about his Great Grandma who went to Heaven just last year. He has fond memories of her though he was so young when she passed. He laughed and said, "Hey, she beat us. In our family we can have a race to see who gets to Heaven first." That's a bitter-sweet thought, but what an excellent way to look at it! He then became concerned that Great Grandma may eat all of the egg rolls before he gets there. I assured him that she can not sin now that she is with Jesus and away from her flesh. She will surely have saved some just for him! That cheered him up a great deal and we had fun continuing to contemplate what she is doing right now. Considering the reality that she is enjoying the sight of the risen Lamb and beholding his surpassing glory! spurs me on to run harder.

Happy Harvest

The last two Autumn's we've been blessed to enjoy "Harvest" in a new and beautiful way. Since moving to the country and having a corn field right next to us we've gotten to watch our landlord, Joe, as he's prepared the ground, planted the seed, seeing the crop come in and flourish (even waking up some mornings in July to a bag of sweet corn on our porch, the Ruth's are so kind to us) and then comes the harvest. This is what all the hard work, early mornings, praying for rain and sunshine and waiting patiently were for. There was investment and trust involved, and God was faithful. God's been reminding me again of Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on , however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who are trained by it." That verse has been the topic of many conversations in our home over the last 4 years or so, as we are daily in the exercise of discipline. I grow weary so quickly and give in to doubt. But God is faithful and he has forgiven me much! He will bring the harvest in his time. I'm seeing the sprouts in Xavier's life and I'm so grateful for the gift God has given me in my son. I trust the Lord will conquer Xavier's heart and give him a deep love for his Savior, and just like his mommy he'll never be able to boast in himself, but only in the cross of Christ.

Yesterday we took our annual trip to Pumpkin Land. Each year we are joined by more family members. This year my mom and two of my sisters, Dawn and Jill, came with us. Hopefully soon we'll be able to bring my nieces and nephews to enjoy the fun as well. The highlight for the past two years has been the short (kiddie length) corn maze. Dawn, Jill, Xavier and I wait for opportunities when no other children are around and begin playing hide-and-seek-tag inside of it. The fun part is that you never really know who's "It" because you don't see the other people get tagged, so you end up paranoid of each family member you may meet with around the next corner. - Good times :-)

Then we admire all the pumpkins, gourds, Indian Corn and any animals they may have on display, but we always enjoy going in to the shop at the end, Green Valley Nursery. It's fun to see the room with Christmas decorations (yea!!! it's coming!!!), but most of our time in their is spent in the Yankee Candle room. We have to smell every candle they have and make a game of not letting Xavier see the label but asking him to guess the scent. He's quite good at it. That boy has a discerning nose! That's probably acquired from all of the practice he gets on our trips to Walmart. If I stop in the laundry or shampoo aisle we get stuck there for several minutes smelling each one. He gets very diappointed if I put the lid back on a bottle without him having a turn to smell as well. (My sisters are like that too. You should see us at Christmas, every present gets passed around and sniffed.)

During our outing Xavier was quite averse to having his picture taken and the only time I was successful in getting one was when I hid behind this cut out and he came to join me once I was found. Thanks Aunt Jill!

And Can It Be

The past few weeks I've been in one of my favorite kind of seasons. God has been flooring me with grace. I've had countless opportunities to ponder what he has saved me from, yet I still haven't plumbed the depths of my sin and the wrath I've earned. I've been marveling over the fact that God chose to save me - it's against all human reason and logic. It just plain doesn't make sense, apart from the fact that God is love. I have to laugh when I think about 1 Cor. 1:27 "But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong". I read that and have to acknowledge, "Yep, there it is. It's all becoming clearer now." Who else has such wisdom? From that perspective I'm the perfect candidate for grace. What could display God's glory more than by saving someone as lost as I was?
Last night at worship rehearsal Thom was leading us through the song book alphabetically to re-establish even familiar songs since there are so many of us newbies who need practical help like that. What a blessing!!! The first song was "Across the Great Divide" which I declared was probably my very favorite song ever (I still think that's true), but as we went along I kept thinking, "No I love that one most, no that one!" Can you blame me? Look at the line up: Alas and Did My Savior Bleed, All Glory to You, All Hail the Power of Jesus Name, Amazing Grace... that's just some of them. Then we came to the one that has been the song of my heart through this sweet time - And Can it Be. How is it that I have found refuge in the blood of Christ? Why has he offered me free grace that cost him so much? My heart was so hard, I was not seeking God, how is it that he brought me to the cross any way?

And can it be that I should gain

An interest in my Savior's blood

Died he for me he caused his pain

For me who scorned his perfect love

Amazing love! How can it be

That you, my God, would die for me

Amazing love! How can it be

That you, my God, would die for me

Welcome!

Thank you for taking the time to visit this blog. The whole 'blog concept' is relatively new to me. But as I've had the opportunity to visit blogs of some ladies who are very dear to me I've been surprised to find how much of a blessing they are! (Kelly, Audrey, Shannon and Danielle - Thank you for your example of being intentional to proclaim the Lord's goodness!) It seems overwhelming to try to keep up with friends and what is going on in their lives. That can hinder my prayers and ability to care for them, so it's been a gift from God to get little bits of insight on how these women are spending their days, where their seeing God's kindness and how they're feeling their weakness. You will not be impressed with my technological skills (if I can even get this to show up!), but hopefully what will catch your attention is the great love and mercy God continually pours over my life!

"You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds

and your thoughts toward us, none can compare with you!

I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told." Psalm 40:5